it took a while

The way I've been acting lately has been very uncharacteristic. I've never responded to negativity with weakness. I'm back on track though, after a reasonable discussion with mama bear and getting things off my chest to go-to guy... I really do get it. I feel like I can look back at what I did that seemed crazy and accept them as attempts to keep a friendship. Maybe I acted differently just because I really did want to keep that... and I've never felt so drawn to do so for anyone else. Every time we've talked lately we've been on different pages, different chapters even, of the book. My suggestion of hanging out was his interpretation of wanting to seduce him, and everything I said just "pointed" to that somehow. My genuine concern and burden for him was just infatuation to him. Infatuation because he has a magic stick... of course. It surprised me to hear that the one who is quick to point out a "golden pussy" syndrome has the same characteristics of a virile version of the same. These are not short-comings, only a confirmation of the impaired judgment of our civilized race. We see what we choose. We know what we choose. I don't hold strong to the concept that people will realize when they misjudge a scenario, and make amends. That is only true in the fantasy world of movies and lyrics, because real people are stubborn. I am, of course, part of this breed. This makes me completely subject to all my previous criticisms. I will say I wish I would strive harder to be the woman of proverbs 31. Here is a short list of my missing characteristics to become so: pious, pure, loyal, kind, selfless, strong, patient, cheerful, wise, dignified, resourceful, discreet, trust-worthy, diligent, and takes care of her family. She actually sounds pretty amazing. Maybe I should take my own advice, instead of accepting the defeat of never achieving such an amazing standard: "Perfection exists, but is often unattainable. Strive for greatness, and you may even exceed perfection."