a supermodel portrait

Exhausted last night, I sat down in my desk chair. I had finally risen from the bathtub. I adorned myself how I thought was stunning and, well, was rejected. The sadness of it all just seemed majestical. I sat there, drinking my wine, leg propped up on the desk; and I could think of nothing else but how I was going to have to force myself to slumber. The soft dancing light of the candles was reflecting of mike's face, and I could hear his heavy breathing. Sip after sip, I contemplated. I could not figure out what I was feeling or wanting. I felt so alone even though I was only a few feet away from my love. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew the fighting of the night wasn't over; and I was very right about that. During that moment though, all I could do is stare at my surroundings. I decided that the emotions on my face where photographic, that this was the emotion I saw in a sad model's eyes. I wanted to capture it. Bottle it up and look at it later on. As if the stance, the feel, the look of it all were something that should be remembered. Not because it represented something.... but the lack thereof. The thoughts of confusion and blankness... the look of my soul, cold and apathetic. Then I realized that this wasn't me. I'm not apathetic... just exhausted. So I laid down, and hours later and after much difficulty, we both fell into sleep.

"Under Construction"

Giving this blog a face lift... but don't feel like finishing it right now. Come back when it looks better.... haha

A work in progress.... one of my laziest writings.

The Rejection of the Succubus

Her anger is kindled under those dark green eyes,
She can't stand to be treated with abuse and lies.
No other victim has looked at her as you braved,
She serves absolutely no purpose when not craved.

Ninety nine of her new offspring have died tonight.
Her night's work is almost over, but you must fight.
Do you desire what she is able to offer?
She should be told you're drained of passion, don't bother.

She brings herself down to your still, lifeless body,
Doing what past lovers did to get you ready.
You lie there coldly rejecting her seduction;
She doesn't get how you could delay production.

Hours upon hours pass, while you lay in deep sleep.
Sanity, calmness, and tranquility you keep.
While she laments and screeches, cuts and convulses,
Ready to give up, she returns to her solace.

The arms of Lucifer offer a place to wail,
So she can destroy thoughts of how it felt to fail.
He takes away all feelings of dispair and fear.
Sealed with his kiss the dark angel's scars dissapear.

The very next night you are the first of her prey,
She has practiced and schemed your defeat all day.
A special tactic, an element of surprise;
The same seductress, but in a new disguise.

When you pillow your head, thoughts turn to your Savior.
Inseperable love, every endeavor.
"In distress, persecution, famine, or nakedness..
Death, life, angels, principalities, powers,
Things present, things to come,
Height, Depth, or any creature..." [Romans 8]

Silently she blows the air in the space of void,
The empty part of your bed, no woman has toyed,
Your hand moves toward it as if you need assurance
That you are alone, there is no need for endurance.

Slowly she start to allow her warmth to surround;
And you being to realize that something's around.
The invisible feelings now are carassing,
And the pleasure that she'll bring seems everlasting.

Your body gives in before your mentality,
Sightless being allures with sensuality.
She wont be visible til attraction's intense,
Won't let her guard down til you can't take the suspense.

She hears your moan which makes her think she has you trapped.
So you blink your eyes and see in whose arms you're wrapped.
Her wicked facade brings you back to reality:
Her beauty can not conceal her brutality.

Beyond her reasoning, your body is lifeless.
She begins to accept... and to become fightless.
Losing this fight takes away her satisfaction;
Then takes her life b/c of your cold rejection.