ERV

I've had a frustrating night.
Mike is being so annoying. He's hung up on some thing where he thinks that I'm turning into a lesbian.... or whatever he thinks. I don't know what is going through that boy's head. It's just plain annoying me. I can't stand not being able to answer someone and they just believe you. Simply answer the question and move on with the day. That's my thought on it.....
Then, there's the fact that the stupid verizon website is down and won't let me make a payment.... I have enough shit to worry about.... I don't really feel l ke dealing with the stupid thing not working. I need to pay my bill right now.... otherwise it won't get done.
arggh arrghhh arg. :
let's go back in time for a story that might put me in a better mood (not likely)
So, Mike and I got in this huge argument last wednesday night... and i was so fucking upset that night. He's never made me so frustrated and depressed, like that time.... I remember when I used to get like that. For a while, I was so in control of the situation. Painful situation.... okay, deal with it. Abuse yourself in some form and move on. As if, pain followed by pain numbs it all. I think I lost you guys at this point. Being so vague... don't like that people I know irl (besides mike) could run across this. Would rather not have to deal with ppl grabbing my arm to look at my wrist and shit like that. I'm just fucking psychotic to the point where I don't always control myself. I think I'm mostly driven to that state late at night.... in my room.... no where to go. I can't go out for a drive or anything like that b/c m y parents will think I'm leaving for good and a ll that..... but yeah, I never got to t he good part of the story.... The morning after he showed up at my house.... drove all the way out here to knock on my window and take the time to work things out... and he was sweet and understanding. It's like.... we can't find that happy.... but not overdone medium. Anyways, it went downhill last night and is continuing to go down... I just hope we don't have to hit rock bottom again. I'm sick of the bruises it leaves.....

Anchovies, anyone?

I just want to send out a warning that I'm mad at anyone who knew.... and didn't tell me.... that anchovies were in caesar dressing! That is disgusting! My boss (who's a vegetarian, as well) told me that today.... I've been feeling sick since. Just to think.... how many caesar salads I've had.... ug, it makes me want to hurl. I know you think I'm over reacting.... but.... come on?!?! You have to understand somewhat... Little animals.... I don't eat flesh. Okay.... no more talk of this.... but that's gross!

Anyways, Life is moving on. I'm tired and sick. I hate it when it gets all cold outside.... I dont' feel like I warm up until summer comes back. I'm going to be in a constant state of cold until... like.... April.... which is a very long ways a way. I'm not looking forward to this. Can you tell?

Mike has been a sweetie lately.... for the most part. I love it when he does the small things.... yeah... and I've come to realize he was right about a few things. I guess that would make me wrong about a few things? Well, you win some, and you lose some. That's all I know.

Why Being A Girl Sucks

Haha, so get this. Apparantly someone did a search on "why being a girl sucks" no joke..... and my blog came up as the third link on ask jeeves! That kind of says something.... like I complain way too much maybe? Well, I thought it was hillarious. I find hillarity in small things though.

Mike is definitely pissed at me right now.... just hung up on me, actually. This isn't a behavior that is surprising t hough. He seems to think hanging up makes arguments go away.... or sends some kind of message across. Anyway, I'm an internet whore..... who knew? I have naked pics online.... who knew? He never understood them anyways. Self-expression is something I don't think he'll ever get... not that he doesn't..... just in different ways. The communication of the body in art tells so much. A nude shows openess... it shows the body as a celebrated object.... not shunned. So it gives guys the wrong opinion..... who cares? I know it touches the artistic soul.... and if the uncontrollingly perverted guys can't contain themselves, I don't have to deal w/ them. Seriously, like the view.... or d on't..... but please..... keep your hard ons and your anger fits to yourself.... It's just pic. Don't think that it's anything more.

"my space"

I finally got a my space.... I don't know why. Same old stuff..... BUT I'm going to be posting my work schedule on there for you, ice cream man. :P So you can't lose the paper, haha.

Life has been life. Lots of ups lots of downs. I'm just waiting for my man to come visit me for a bit tonight... so that my mother can bitch at him to leave. It will be fun. I can't wait to see him. :)

So this didn't work last

So this didn't work last time, but i can apparently post from my phone when i get this all set up.