Its frustrating that once I finally let ppl read my writings.. they don't get me. I normally don't let people read mostly b/c I have this problem w/ perfection. I'll sit and re-word my writings 20... 30 times. This one I went over once and didn't feel like changing anything. The stupid parts make the better sound good? no... not really. Anyways, the other reason I don't let ppl is b/c I don't think they will get me, and my gracious, I was right. This fucking poem has nothing to do w/ suicide. ITs about running out of options. Its about knowing there is nowhere I can turn where my heart won't feel ripped out. ~sigh~ I really don't care if people get it. Just say to yourself, "wow, that was a piece of shit" and go on w/ your life.

Peaceful Anguish

She sits and stares into the void of the night,
And trys to find sommething in her life that's bright.
Not that it would help her.

Her mind instantly turns to her lost lover;
The pain is too intense for her to cover.
Not that it would hide her.

She finds a rope and trys to make a slipknot
To end her sad life and make her body rot.
Not that it would hold her.

She throws the rope and picks up a razor blade,
Closes her eyes to make all memory fade.
Not that it would haunt her.

She suddenly becomes ever so peaceful--
So peacefully numb to her pain, it's blissful.
Not that it would hurt her.

She slowly scrapes the blade down her wrist's vein;
Along w/ the blood, rushes in all the pain.
Not that it would harm her.

She jumps, startled, so startled that the blade fell.
She screamed at it and told it to go to hell.
Not that it would hear her.

She see's a lost, sad girl in the window glass,
Not recognizing her reflection or past.
Not that it would hate her.

She's tired, angry, confused, and worn out.
Can't feel her pulse because her heart's been torn out.
Not that it would hunt her.

She stops eating because she hates her "temple."
Starvation's techniqute is ever so simple.
Not that it would house her.

Her body slowly startes to emaciate.
Of course, its not something she utterly hates.
Not that it would heal her.

She walks to the kitchen to the pantry door,
Food binging starts while her mind keeps screaming "more! "
Not that it would hush her.

She eats until she can not eat anymore,
Stares in the toilet's void, falling to the floor.
Not that it would hollow her.

Her body hates her.
Her mind hates her.
Her heart hates her.
Not that they would humble her.

Her body gains when she tells it to lose.
Her mind heals when she wants it to bruise.
Her heart hates when he trys to amuse.
Not that they would honor her.

Her body bleeds when she tells it to heal.
Her mind rebels when she wants to deal.
Her heart is numb when she trys to feel.
Not that they would hinder her.

She sinks into a dark corner... knowing that her life will continue for eternity. She doesn't fight her problems anymore. Just sits back and watches them in a way that seems a distant view. Peaceful anguish will continue. She needs a savior to heal her, but will he ever appear? It seemms as if he has stopped caring

wow, its been a while. I'm gonna just type up a random writing