Shit Life -- Dope

Ithink I'm finished w/ the catching up thing. I mean other shit happened.... but its an entirely new weekend and I"m so over that stuff now. Except scott... wont' ever be over him. I wake up everyone morning thinking about him. I seriously lay in my bed not being able to get up b/c I'm sitting there thinking about himn. I don't want to go on w/ my day b/c I have to face the reality of being alone. I just lay there till the last possible moment... then ten minutes before I'm supposed to be somewhere else I jump out of bed, take a five minute shower, and race out the door... this is what I do every morning. No exceptions.
yay for yesterday! okay, not so much. I was supposed to go to the beach. Me and my best friend headed up there in my lil car. Its like... a 2 hour drive (a little over an hour when I'm driving). She wants to go up to a mall that's "close to the beach." I didnt' really understand why at first... but I was like, okay, thats cool. So after we finally gt out of richmond... had tons of errands to run first... its like 12:30 and we are in the virginia beach area... or not really... but close. She tells me to get off the wrong exit and we are going like to downtown newport news.... the stupid mall was in downtown norfolk... so we have to turn around. She calls up her friend for directions and she tells us we have to go thru the tunnel then to go into downtown. Somehow we end up in downtown portsmouth and we are going thru another tunnel.... so then we get direction from a randomn guy... go back thru the damn tunnel... finally make it to these mall. It was a nice mall.. three story. Good stores. I spent too much money, like always; but the real reason were there... was, I should of guessed, b/c she like some guy that moved up to that area and worked at the mall. Yeah, okay.... so we finally decide to go back to the beach... and of course... its starts pouring down the rain and storming. I was going to get my belly button pierced at the beach.. was so excited; but we ended up going back home. Traffic was horrid... took us like 3 or 4 hours to get back. Stupid ppl can't drive. Then I was cranky from traffic and like... we were doing random stupid shit but I was cranky the whole time. I never got my belly button pierced waaaaaahhh... okay, enough w/ the whining.
I've been having binge eating relapses lately... I guess b/c I've been upset. I'm not really sure why, I've actually purged a few timems too; but it wasn't by choice. Last night I ate a whole lot... and today I'm trying really hard to stop mysyelf. I hate being like this.