a little bit of catching up

*sigh* I've been having some shitty days lately.... some good, a lot of shitty. Okay, I don't think I've told you anything since before my sister's wedding so I'll try to recap... this might take more than one day to do.
Okay, so the actual night of my sisters wedding (june 5th), I get a text message from scott. He's really upset and all like saying he needs to talk. I'm a softie so, even though it was like 1 am and I hadn't gotten any sleep for the past two days (my sis wedding was very stressful/time consuming), we talk on the phone. since I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate the details of it all being online... I'll make it short and sweet. He was forced to not be able to talk or see his ex. He was very upset and I talked to him for a long while. I can't stand to see him so sad and frustrated. We talked a lot. Like every day for a long time. After a while, I asked him why he had picked me to come to about all this... and he said, well, isn't it obviou? I still love you. We start telling each other I love you and such and I started feeling really close to him. He seemed to be dealing pretty well w/ the whole ex thing and I thought we were getting somewhere. He was still kinda sad all the time and I knew there was one thing I could do that would definitely cheer him up since conversation wasn't working: phone sex. We had some fun. it was great. OKay, so you know I said this is shit so you're just waiting for the downfall right? oh well, gonna have to wait a bit.
Let's introduce a new character. His name is Allen. We went to school together. He was a year older than me, but we still had some classes together. Apparantly, he's had a crush on me since 10th grade (2000). I guess, when I was in highschool I thought I was too good for all the guys at my school. That and I was dating scott for the latter part. I dont' remember dating a single guy. I can remember rejecting a whole lot of nice guys... hot guys... but I don't think I ever dated at all. In my eyes, boys equal complications and pain.... and why did I need more of that in my life? Anyways, this allen guy, last summer told me about how he's liked mem forever and never could ask me out b/c I was dating somemone online and everything. We hang out a lot the last week before he goes back to college in pensacola. He had a girlfriend down there and I told him that I will never be the "girl that a guy cheats on his gf with." To me, that is like the most horrid and disgusting title anyone could ever earn. Anyways, this summer he's been kinda flirting w/ me and stuff... and then last sunday I was telling how my parents were going out of town. Just joking, I asked him if he wanted to come over and ahve drinks... he's all like yeah yeah.... and so I was like, fine, that would be cool. This was all taking place during church, so I asked him if he wanted to go outt o lunch. We go out... spend like a long timem driving around and talking and everything. We kinda got on the subject of sex. Me being totally innocent and him having some experience. We talked about what he had done.. being mostly oral sex... and then he starts asking me if I would like to do that w/ him blah blah... and I couldn't lie and say, no, I don't... so I say, yeah, maybe. Totally getting his hopes up, I suppose I'm a bitch like that. The truth is, I would like to do those things.... w/ a certain person. I'm just not into any other guys. Anyways, I call scott after this and kinda tell him about it. He's kinda pissed. I was just trying to be honest w/ him. I love him so much... I regret telling him. I think that is pretty much the reason shit happened. That night I call him and we start talking about things and he has me try something new on the phone and I guess I wans't really into it... into it yet, anyways... which aggravated him. Then we just start arguing...pretty much the first argument we had had since we started talking again that was like... the kind where you get all annoyed at each other. He then states that he just wants to g o.... he always bails out in the middle of arguments. He wouldn't tell me he loved me. He ended up hanging up on me b/c I wouldn't say goodnight... I was being bitchfully stubborn. Then after that, he was either busy or didn't feel like talking... or not there... whenever I called. I catch him online one night.. and I try to talk to him, but he doesn't respond. So since I'm annoyed, I start searching the chat rooms he normally chats in.... and I notice that his ex is online (she wasn't able to for a while b/c of the "situation"). ANyways, I start talking to her about shit and everything and like being totally nice even though we were both jealous of each other. I call scott and leave him a message on callwave that I had talked to his ex and he needed to get offline so we could talk about what I had said to her, since he stillwasn't able to talk to her. I was so mad... I called a million timems but he wouldn't get off. So yeah, a few days pass... me trying to contact him every day and not being able to... then I ask him a few days ago online if he's getting back w/ jess his reply "things weren't going to work out between us steff, and you know it" ARGH! I had fucking faith in us. NO, he has to get back w/ his ex. He always does this to me..... fucks me over.... sigh... I'm frustrated and I need to gt offline.... I'll post some of the more happy stuff tommorow or sometime. I promimse there are some good things. good-night