Searching for depth

I think I go through a constantly changing (bipolar if you will) mindset. The first mood being artificial... but fun, allowing myself to trust even strangers, to be carefree, an attention whore, and rather conceited. The second mood is that of which I am now. It looks for depth. It questions WHY I have friends, or the lack thereof. It makes re-evaluate myself and try to work better on the things that I know I have an opportunity to improve upon. I hope I can stay in this "mood" for long enough for good mannerisms to become habits. It usually only lasts for a day though. Otherwise, I seem to take things in a passive stride. I allow what is going to happen, to just happen. I mean, I don't control the universe so why stress over pretending like i can do so.


I have a few things on my mind right now. I'm a little overwhelmed, but trying to put my life and future in God's control. Things will work out on their own, and we cannot avoid the innevitable.

Sorry for being so redundant. I guess I don't really feel like expressing the true root of my stress... in time though.