ERV

I've had a frustrating night.
Mike is being so annoying. He's hung up on some thing where he thinks that I'm turning into a lesbian.... or whatever he thinks. I don't know what is going through that boy's head. It's just plain annoying me. I can't stand not being able to answer someone and they just believe you. Simply answer the question and move on with the day. That's my thought on it.....
Then, there's the fact that the stupid verizon website is down and won't let me make a payment.... I have enough shit to worry about.... I don't really feel l ke dealing with the stupid thing not working. I need to pay my bill right now.... otherwise it won't get done.
arggh arrghhh arg. :
let's go back in time for a story that might put me in a better mood (not likely)
So, Mike and I got in this huge argument last wednesday night... and i was so fucking upset that night. He's never made me so frustrated and depressed, like that time.... I remember when I used to get like that. For a while, I was so in control of the situation. Painful situation.... okay, deal with it. Abuse yourself in some form and move on. As if, pain followed by pain numbs it all. I think I lost you guys at this point. Being so vague... don't like that people I know irl (besides mike) could run across this. Would rather not have to deal with ppl grabbing my arm to look at my wrist and shit like that. I'm just fucking psychotic to the point where I don't always control myself. I think I'm mostly driven to that state late at night.... in my room.... no where to go. I can't go out for a drive or anything like that b/c m y parents will think I'm leaving for good and a ll that..... but yeah, I never got to t he good part of the story.... The morning after he showed up at my house.... drove all the way out here to knock on my window and take the time to work things out... and he was sweet and understanding. It's like.... we can't find that happy.... but not overdone medium. Anyways, it went downhill last night and is continuing to go down... I just hope we don't have to hit rock bottom again. I'm sick of the bruises it leaves.....