Energized? what's that...

I'mm pretty sure I haven't had but one day off in the past 3 weeks... The only day I have off this week is tuesday.... court day.... I'm so scared.... I haven't even talked to my lawyer about the case... like, at all. Whoops. I have so much shit to get done tommorow. It sucks. Everything just kinda sucks right now. I just need a vacation. I wish I were going with my parents to see my sister in pensacola... although I will enjoy the time I get here without them.... I know I'll be working constantly. It's not just that I work every day.... it seems like I work all day most days.... its just.... grrrr.... and then there's the factor that mike and I keep having arguments. It's stressful b/c I want to be with him... but it always seems like there isn't a thing I can do to stop our arguments. A girlfriend she able to stop those.... I just can't rationalize a lot. Like, why be jealous when I am talking to one of my girlfriends about a middle school crush? It's just.... argh, I don't know. Somedays, I feel like all I am to him is a comparison. Not an actual person, just a jan doe... that fits the profile... fits a profile of someone I'm not. I think I'm getting to confusing and talking way to deep into this. I'm just sad, basically. Sad that I can't keep him happy and sad that I don't know how to get over this trust issue. If there were boundries it would be understandable.... but how can I keep the boundries that he doesn't? If he's going to talk about his past, I amm too; and I think that is a completely healthy thing... ~sigh~ I'm going to go shower now... didn't have the energy to get up this morning and do that.