What Is Grieving really?

  I hardly go to funerals, but when I do... I always feel so out of place. Everyone is weepy or have that blank stare on there face. I just don't understand it. Thinking back to people that i have lost, I can't say I've openly cried about them. Somberness only comes out of respect. The actual act of grieving I don't think I'll ever understand. They say everyone grieves in their own way.... and so I tried to think, well, what is my way? I mean, I know I write when I'm upset... and I can think of things I wrote when certain people passed away... but how can that be a form of grieving? Writing is what I do when I'm feeling sorry for myself... writing is what I do when I don't want to talk to anyone but my paper... I don't know, maybe that is my way... My way to cope? All I know is whenever I hear bad news like I heard yesterday.... all I want to do is pick up a pen and keep to myself.
  Yesterday, two teenagers lost their father. He was working, crossing a street or on the street's side, and a truck ran him over. I'm not quite sure how it feels to lose a parent, especially at that age... although I do have a close friend who does. I remember holding her and my friends at the funeral. I remember how she had said that she didnt' want anyone to dress drab for her funeral. How different is this situation though? I mean,  so unexpected... It makes everyone reflect on how much to value life. How "life is but a vapor that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." Your prayers would be appreciated for the family... the mother passed away a few years ago, and now the father.