I've been blogging too much the last few days...

One of my favorite songs, ever.

And I get this is what you think of me.

You're not the first.

Too bad I'm not into coke. HEH

Figured you out -- Nickleback
I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease

And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose

Ooooh
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out

I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed,
While you put me to the test
I like the wine stains on your dress

And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose

And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out

Word Spew

Ravenous, ruined wreck
Greedy, gullible guile
Malicious, monotonous muse
Forced from feedom,
Stolen so secretely,
Trampled to threads.

Re-won, revisited, re-lost
Unwound, unnerved, unloved
Disregarded, discerned, dislodged
Worldliness will win,
Hatred hides humanity,
Love leaves life.

Black
Cold
Lost
Confused
Mourning

~My Heart~

Confusion... mad,mad ramblings

Pages of incoherent babblings could be proof that there is a lot on my mind, but it is not. I feel blank. I couldn't sleep this morning when i finally got home around 5 am. I've had many moments of just staring into oblivion in the past day. Nothing there. No feeling. No thoughts. Just confusion. What I wrote, instead of sleeping, is just plain madness. I couldn't even try to make a compilation of the thoughts for a blog post. I wouldn't know where to start or end... I think I've realized that this confusion... this emptiness... is the void of which is so often profoundly spoken. Maybe I have been trying to fill my void with the wrong things. It never felt like a desperate cry to make my lacking on other aspects be lessened. I suppose that since i do not keep my feelings and thoughts to myself often, then I wouldn't keep my lack of feeling to myself either. If i take away all the "fillers" or even if I just leave them there, at the end of the day the void will be there. It will be there unless I fix it. People can trash talk me all day. They will never feel as poorly about myself as I do. It's an underlying problem too, not just some obvious dejected thought. When someone feels the need to place the feeling onto an audible concept, it makes me realize they may not be capable of my paticular complex deduction of self. Somedays i wish it wasn't even a trait i possessed. Sleep is more desireable. Moving on is more desireable, too. When the obstacles to getting what you want have nothing to do with your or the prized possession, it becomes a game of strength, no longer wit. And then I don't care if i bear strength nor wit. I wouldn't lose more sleep over the realization i am not always strong. I know i have strong points. It doesn't scare me to have my weaknesses out in the open. I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with that statement.